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Happy Birthday. I have adopted a mile of highway in your name. It is now being cleaned by inmates who won't forget it.
Happy Birthday. I have adopted a whale in your name. To raise her, you'll need to purchase the tank yourself.
Happy Birthday. Today your crap will be tolerated.
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While company policy unfortunately precludes the elaborate spanking ritual we had planned, happy birthday anyway.
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How do I tell my husband that he's a liar?
