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Merry Christmas. Trinkets for you, milk and cookies for the costumed fat guy.
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Merry X-mas. How much would Jesus spend?

I admit to being a little annoyed when you wished me a Merry Christmas, but I'm happy you don't think I look Jewish, so we're cool.

Merry Christmas. For environmental reasons, this year Santa will be giving you a hunk of plastic instead of the usual coal.

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Being unemployed doesn't exempt you from buying me toys.

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How do I tell my friend that he's sexy?

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