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Holidays :: Valentine's Day :: "Anxiety of Confluence"

Do you really like me, or is this just a pre-Valentine's Day frenzy (which I'll also take)?

Holidays :: Valentine's Day :: "Mr. Right Now"

Valentine's Day is almost here, and you'll do for now.

Holidays :: Christmas :: "North Pole Trade Agreement"

Being unemployed doesn't exempt you from buying me toys.

Holidays :: Christmas :: "Fearing the God-fearing"

Your oppressed white Christian rage is understandable, and has cowed me into appreciation. Merry Christmas.

Holidays :: Christmas :: "Passing for Merry"

I admit to being a little annoyed when you wished me a Merry Christmas, but I'm happy you don't think I look Jewish, so we're cool.

Holidays :: Halloween :: "Carob Package"

It's possible that some neighborhood children don't share your strict vegan worldview.

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