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Holidays :: Christmas :: "North Pole Trade Agreement"

Being unemployed doesn't exempt you from buying me toys.

Holidays :: Christmas :: "Fearing the God-fearing"

Your oppressed white Christian rage is understandable, and has cowed me into appreciation. Merry Christmas.

Holidays :: Christmas :: "Passing for Merry"

I admit to being a little annoyed when you wished me a Merry Christmas, but I'm happy you don't think I look Jewish, so we're cool.

Holidays :: Christmas :: "Rudolph the Early Adopter"

Merry Christmas. I prefer gifts that come with A/C adapters.

Holidays :: Christmas :: "Schindler's Invitation"

Merry Christmas. Please join me for the traditional Chinese food + matinee festivities.

Holidays :: Christmas :: "Green Christmas"

Merry Christmas. For environmental reasons, this year Santa will be giving you a hunk of plastic instead of the usual coal.

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