Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Love Hurts, By Design"

I only know how to torment you so effectively because we have such a special bond.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Music Critic"

I am sorry for making fun of your music. I am a closed-minded snob who happens to have good taste in music.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "I Suck"

I'm sorry for sucking.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Repressed Memory Excuse"

I'm sorry about my bad temper. I think I have a lot of anger about something that happened a long time ago that I forgot.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Leeches"

I'm sorry for having such a bad temper. I promise to go have a good leeching to take some of the edge off.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "PMS Exemption"

Sorry about our fight. Please accept this "get out of PMS-related fight" card for future use.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Vivacious Egotist"

I am sorry that your friends like me better than you. It's a curse but there's nothing I can do about it.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Fashion Collateral Damage"

I apologize for making fun of your clothing. I'm sure it's more because of my low self-esteem than your bold individual sense of style.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Huff-breaker"

I just want to let you know that I'm sorry, in the sense that I'm tired of you stomping around and will take the blame if you stop.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Alpha Nerd Syndrome"

You're right, it's not polite to make it so apparent when I'm smarter than someone else. I'm sorry.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Emphatic"

I'm sorry. Also, I'm sorry.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Virile by Negative Proof"

But if your masculinity were even vaguely in question, I wouldn't talk about what a wuss you are.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Senility Apology"

I can't even remember what we're fighting about anymore. Can we go the rest of the way and forget about it?

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Jocular to a Point"

I'm starting to see why jokes about cheating on you are not all-purpose hilarious, but I'd still like to trot them out on special occasions.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Apology Prompt"

I can't tell what I've done wrong, but I'm sorry, if I should be. How about giving me a hint (with a card)?

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "No Fault Settlement"

Can we decide not to care whose fault it is and just stop fighting?

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Shot in the Dark"

I apologize for all of the things I've done wrong that you rightly choose not to identify.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Whiskey Ventriloquism"

Last night, it was mostly the whiskey talking. But right now it's mostly me apologizing.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Emotional Pincer Movement"

Sorry about the sniveling. Tactics to change shortly.

Relationships :: Half Apologies :: "Vague But Sincere"

I apologize for the thing(s) I did.