Relationships :: Break-up :: "Emancipation Congratulation"

Congratulations on your recently won freedom.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Amity Notice"

This breakup e-card is technically more thoughtful than an email. I sincerely look forward to our friendship.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Plenty of Fish"

Dear fish, welcome back to the sea

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Rite of Safe Passage"

Congratulations on your first restraining order! You are now an adult in the eyes of the stalking community.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Emotion to Suppress"

We've broken up. Now is the time to e-mail me all of the brutally honest opinions you have been suppressing.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Fence Fatigue"

I'm getting some breakup-may-be-imminent signs. Please decide to abort or go through with it soon.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Cold War Recruitment"

I know you're friends with both of us, but you're so good at plotting revenge, and I really need you now.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Recycling Program"

I'm thinking of going out with your ex in the near future, so if that's ok please give me no sign.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Mandatory Support"

We've broken up. Please send e-mail endorsements of the decision.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Flash Moving Mob"

If you need help moving, I can raise a crew in short notice.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Gag order for him"

We broke up. Please don't mention his name.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Bitch"

She was a bitch anyway

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Defection Invite"

Let's stay friends behind my ex's back.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Temporary Support"

We broke up. Please take my side for now.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Nitpick Solicitation for her"

We've broken up. Any e-mail listing her many faults would be appreciated.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Gag order for her"

We broke up. Please don't mention her name.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Nitpick Solicitation for him"

We've broken up. Any e-mail listing his many faults would be appreciated.

Relationships :: Break-up :: "Cold War Buildup"

We've broken up. When you're around me, please take my side.